I need closure!
The Myers-Briggs letter pair that causes the most tension is the Judging-Perceiving pair (J/P). By nature, Judgers (Js) want to make a decision and have closure. Perceivers (Ps) want to keep their options open and explore. Js like to make plans far in advance and stick to their plan. Ps like to go with the flow and decide last-minute. Imagine a J and P who have lunch plans. The J will want to pick the time, the restaurant, and might even look at the menu before lunch so they can decide in advance. The P might want to have a “looser” meeting time, might change their mind about the choice of restaurant the day of, and will be excited to look at the menu and see what strikes their fancy that day. If I know I’m interacting with a J, I do my best to limit changes, especially last-minute changes. And if you know there will be a change, let them know as soon as you can so they have time to emotionally re-set. If you’re a J trying to get a P to decide, give them options. Likely the P will know what they don’t want before they know what they do want. Use the process of elimination to pick a restaurant and pick a calendar date. Most importantly, try to smile and remember that “it’s true I’m not like you….how fortunate for both of us.”